10 Incorrect Behaviors in Child Upbringing to Avoid
We all love to have polite, happy, intelligent, and lively children. To raise such children, you must first increase your knowledge in the field of parenting with utmost patience. Being aware in this area is the first step you can take to raise your children without mistakes or errors. You might think that all you need to do is apply parenting principles! But it’s better to know that you are responsible for your initial behavior, and your child will precisely reflect this behavior. Any harsh interaction from you can have unpleasant consequences in your child’s adulthood. Therefore, managing parents’ personal behavior alongside patience and awareness of incorrect behaviors in child upbringing can yield brilliant results.
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What is the Impact of Parents’ Behavior on Child Upbringing?
Parents’ behavior has a significant impact on child upbringing. Research shows how certain parental behaviors affect the formation of children’s temperament and mental state. The results indicate that parents’ behavior directly affects a child’s psyche. This has both positive and negative aspects. In fact, its positive effects are highly desirable, while its negative effects are very serious! Children look to their parents to learn how to behave, deal with problems, or solve issues. Parents who provide positive examples of ethical behavior, discipline, social skills, and problem-solving through intelligent upbringing witness more brilliant results.
On the other hand, parents can pave the way for a successful life for their child or teenager by setting boundaries and rules, enforcing discipline, and offering wise advice. A simple task in childhood can become a serious habit in adulthood. Thus, this young sapling grows and is shaped by the hands of the parents. Studies show that parents who express love and support to their children usually raise confident children. Parents can encourage children to progress by motivating them, giving encouragement, and setting positive expectations. Be mindful that even patterns of anger and harsh interactions may become ingrained in children.
Parents’ behavior in stressful and anger-inducing situations remains in the child’s mind, and in similar situations, even in adulthood, the child is likely to exhibit behavior similar to that of the parents. Thus, children’s emotional intelligence and its development also depend on the parents’ upbringing performance. The quality of parents’ interactions with their children also has a significant impact on this upbringing! You will easily notice the astonishing effects of patient parents’ behavior on the calmness of their children and teenagers! The reverse is also true, and incorrect behavior in child upbringing can cause irreparable effects. Therefore, in this section, we seriously discuss 10 incorrect behaviors in child upbringing to help you consciously use them in raising your dear child.
10 Incorrect Behaviors in Child Upbringing
Raising a child is one of the most important responsibilities parents undertake from the day they decide to have a child. In the early days of birth and the first years, children have a blank slate in their soul, and with the parents’ behaviors, patterns are created on this slate that form the structure and roadmap of the child’s life. With any mistake or incorrect behavior in child upbringing, a black line is etched on this slate! Certainly, incorrect behavior in child upbringing can affect their future. Therefore, based on research conducted by the Imino development team, we aim to provide details of 10 destructive behaviors for concerned parents. Although the number of these mistakes is vast and requires further study, becoming familiar with the 10 most common and frequent behaviors in this article can enhance your awareness in this regard.
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1. Lack of Awareness and Up-to-Date Upbringing
Keeping upbringing methods up-to-date is a highly important parameter you must be aware of. Incorrect behavior in child upbringing can lay the groundwork for numerous problems in adulthood. When parents lack up-to-date upbringing methods and apply their own parents’ methods to their child, the child’s behavioral contradictions with peers become noticeable. As a responsible parent, you must conduct extensive studies in the areas of child development, growth trends, upbringing methods, and parenting. This way, you can consciously and up-to-date raise your child.
Remember, when talking about the necessity of being up-to-date, imagine a comparison between children of the past and present! Certainly, the concerns of parents in the past were not about controlling children or teaching them how to navigate virtual spaces! Our parents had no worries about chatting with strangers or privacy and sharing photos in various spaces! These differences highlight the necessity of awareness and up-to-date upbringing.
2. Critical Parents
One of the incorrect behaviors in child upbringing is being overly critical. Under no circumstances should you, as a parent, create a sense of criticism in your child. This is because the unpleasant effects of such behavior manifest as avoidance of starting new tasks, anxiety in various areas, reduced self-confidence, and inability to trust others. Therefore, you must act intelligently and control your behavior without mistakes when tempted to criticize. Note that admonition and punishment differ from criticism; criticism refers to a point of devaluing oneself and the child’s inner self in their own thoughts.
3. Imposing Personal Dreams and Interests on the Child
As another of the 10 incorrect behaviors in child upbringing, imposing interests and desires can be mentioned. No parent should demand their unfulfilled life from their child! Children are responsible for their own lives and must pursue their interests, tastes, and identities in a proper direction. Any imposition of interests and tastes can have unpleasant consequences and disappoint the child’s mind in adulthood. For example, such behavior can be seen in parents who force their child to learn the piano while the child’s talent lies in public speaking! These differences must be acknowledged by considering the child’s talents and interests.
4. Self-Care and Understanding Parents as Role Models
Many parents are highly professional in setting rules. Writing rules and explaining them to children is a desirable action, especially if it applies to all family members. For example, if rules are set for not using phones, parents must also adhere to them. This example also applies to eating habits. In a household where parents regularly consume fast food, setting rules for healthy eating for children is not entirely appropriate and will not yield proper results. These mistakes distance children from you and foster distrust. Parents are the primary role models for children, and the more prominent and reasonable this role model is, the easier it is for children to accept.
5. Ignoring Children’s Feelings
One of the common mistakes we frequently observe is the lack of attention and seriousness toward children. What behavior have most of us seen when a child falls?
“Get up, darling, it’s nothing! It’s not a big deal, don’t be a baby!”
These are familiar phrases for all of us! They may not seem very harmful, but these few words can create a sense of ignoring pain and suffering in the child. This behavior also occurs with children in adolescence. For example, when noticing a child’s sadness over a broken favorite perfume, phrases like “Let it go! It’s not important! Don’t be upset for no reason!” are used to try to free the child from distress, but such behavior is a clear example of ignoring. You must understand your child’s pain in any dimension and prioritize empathy. Tell your child you understand how heavy this issue or event was for them and how sorry you are about it! Assure them you are there for them and will support them in compensating or preventing the recurrence of this event. This is the best reaction to understanding and acknowledging the pain or distress of children in critical situations.
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6. Creating Fear and Panic
“I’m no longer your mom” “One day I’ll leave this house, and you’ll stay with your father” “If I find out who did this, they’re in trouble” and…
These phrases are very familiar to us! Phrases that many parents unconsciously used to create leverage to control the child. But it’s better to know that even hearing such phrases once can lead to serious psychological damage to children. Fear of loss, lack of affection, excessive compensation, guilt, and hundreds of other issues are among the most common reasons people seek psychologists in adulthood. The root of all these problems lies in creating fear and anxiety in childhood and adolescence. Parents are their children’s safe haven, and children should rely on their parents as a safe space at home. A safe space has no room for creating fear and panic. Therefore, under no circumstances should you use fear and panic to control your child.
7. Constant Comparison and Lack of Encouragement
As the seventh incorrect behavior in child upbringing, constant comparison can be mentioned. Comparison is the worst mistake in relationships. Under no circumstances can you compare two different parameters. Even a child cannot be compared to their peers! Teenagers cannot be compared to their classmates, even those with similar intelligence! People each have their own unique characteristics, intelligence, upbringing, mental growth, or capabilities that differ from others. Therefore, under no circumstances should you compare your child. Such actions lead to anger, fear, anxiety, self-deprecation, and lack of confidence in adulthood.
8. Lack of Interaction with the Child
Remember that your children are capable of interaction from early childhood. It is you who must strive to create interaction appropriate to their age and understanding. Therefore, take talking to your children seriously and explain various situations to them. For example, when observing a street fight and your child asks why, as a parent, you must explain the situation in their childish world. This interaction must be in a safe space, and the information you provide should under no circumstances create a sense of insecurity in the child’s world. To gain better insight into their world, you should definitely consult child psychologists.
9. The Child is Not a Confidant
An incorrect behavior in child upbringing is confiding in children or discussing adult matters with them. A child should play, explore, and experience growth in their childish world! Confiding in children or making them a confidant causes them to leave their beautiful childish world. Even this action is harmful for children in older ages, adolescence, and youth. Parents must personally resolve personal, work, or family issues together and not transfer any matters outside the children’s domain to them.
The Miracle of Patience in Child Upbringing
Patience is one of the most important and fundamental skills for parents in raising children. Patience plays a key and significant role in children’s development and growth. This skill is essential for parents because raising children during the growth process and daily life comes with ups and downs, and emotional reactions like yelling, anger, and aggression can have a serious impact on a child’s psyche. Negative behaviors in children are part of their experience and growth process. Therefore, you must patiently, consciously, and empathetically strive to navigate these days successfully.
Understanding childish emotions becomes possible with patience. Patience allows parents to have better control over their personal behaviors and provide a desirable role model for life and growth for the child. Certainly, the development and upbringing of children in a safe and calm environment is the most important parameter to consider. So, try to act patiently and consciously using meditation and self-control techniques.
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