A Guide to Helping Children Make Optimal Use of the Virtual Space

Teenagers spend an average of about 9 hours a day in the virtual space, and many parents are concerned about the impact of screen time on mobile phones, tablets, and computers on their children. Urs Gasser and John Palfrey, digital experts and authors of the newly published book “Connected Parent: An Expert Guide to Parenting in the Digital World,” believe there is no cause for concern. In an interview with the Gazette, as a Harvard Law School professor, executive director of the Berkman Klein Center for Internet & Society, president of the MacArthur Foundation, and former director of the center’s school, they have offered suggestions for helping children make optimal use of the virtual space.
In fact, they emphasize methods that parents can use for parenting in the digital world. This book guides parents to help their children and create the necessary safety in the online environment. As a result, they can make the best use of new media and technology.

Learn More: How Do Parents Influence Children’s Behavior in the Internet Age?

Q&A with Urs Gasser and John Palfrey

Gazette Reporter: Over the past 12 years, since the publication of “Born Digital: Understanding the First Generation of Digital Natives” in 2008, what changes have you observed in the field of new media and technology?
Gasser: The first change relates to the type of technologies that young people use to enter the digital space. When we wrote “Born Digital,” mobile phones did not yet exist, and today they are the primary device for individuals to explore the virtual space. Another change relates to the type of platforms young people use and the issues that arise from their use. For example, twelve years ago, there was a significant challenge regarding music and entertainment; it was very difficult for young people to find music online, and they faced issues like illegality due to using file-sharing services or downloading their favorite songs.

Now, this issue has been significantly resolved with the presence of innovative business models, such as Spotify or other platforms (which provide music to young people anywhere in the world).
These issues continue.
On the other hand, we have seen the emergence of new issues in the field of technology and the business environment that impact the topic of helping children make optimal use of the virtual space. One of the biggest concerns relates to the use of user behavior data, or so-called “surveillance capitalism.” Also, when we started our work, the connection between young people and technology was more like a specialized topic, and this awareness has changed significantly. These days, parents are very concerned about issues like “mobile phone usage time.” Also, during the coronavirus period, teachers faced another challenge. This is a general trend.

Politicians and lawmakers are also thinking about issues related to young people and technology. The main question is whether we can reduce some of the risks associated with this connection? And also, how can we use the new opportunities that modern technologies offer for participation in society and engagement in the digital economy to benefit young people?

5 Key Tips for Raising Children in the Digital Space

Urs Gasser and John Palfrey suggest these 5 factors to parents in their book.

1. Have intimate conversations with your children about various topics in the digital and online space.
2. View new technology topics positively while learning the necessary skills to manage and control their risks.
3. Stay interactively and collaboratively connected with your children to support them while preserving their independence.
4. Consider new technologies as golden opportunities for learning and growth.
5. Experience working with new technologies yourself to stay up-to-date and provide a suitable behavioral role model for your children.

Exploring the Meaning of Digital Parenting

Gazette Reporter: Can you explain your philosophy of “digital parenting”?

Palfrey: When helping children make optimal use of the virtual space, we must pay special attention to this concept. One of the distinguishing features of this book is that, during its compilation, we tried to present the data and advice we have for parents with a sustainable philosophy. Anyone can access the internet and search for parenting tips. We think this book has useful tips; however, it is effective only if you accept the philosophy of digital parenting. The ideas are very simple, but their execution is important because they are planned based on research.

One of the important principles is that parents must keep the lines of conversation open with young people. This seems like an obvious point, but it is not consistently done. We must ensure that children reach a level of confidence to ask questions from parents that are not solely related to that specific technology.

This leads us to the next point. We encourage parents to become familiar with technology. Essentially, we suggest that they use it to stay aligned with their children. You don’t need to be on the Snapchat social network or any other new technology all day, but for your advice to be effective for young people, you must be seen as a trustworthy and supportive figure in their eyes.
We believe that parents should be guided in their parenting not by fear but by useful information. This is what we hope to have achieved through this book. Presenting facts by conducting research on the most common questions parents ask us about helping children make optimal use of the virtual space. We have also discussed the positive aspects of technology and the solutions available to young people so that both sides can have a better connection.

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Connection with Children is a Priority

Gasser: The only thing I can add to this discussion is that parents must first connect with their children and then connect with technology.

Gazette Reporter: In your opinion, how have new media and technologies impacted parenting?

Palfrey: Most research specifically focuses on the experiences that young people have. The approach we have taken over the past 15 years at the Berkman Klein Center’s Youth and Media Lab has been to ask questions from their perspective. The young person is very important in these studies because research must be based on the realities of a child’s life. We ask parents to focus on the lived experiences of young people because their position as parents is very important, but it is secondary to what children experience.

To understand this, let’s take “harassment” as a specific example. People often talk to each other about cyberbullying. Humiliation and bullying also regularly occur at school. Our argument is that while cyberbullying exists, other types of mistreatment also happen in young people’s everyday lives. In fact, all these actions are recognized as harassment. They have just been carried out in different dimensions and environments.

Now, parents are expected to prioritize proper communication with their child. If someone disrespects another in the cafeteria, they will likely harass them in the online space as well, and vice versa. Strategies for dealing with harassment methods are mostly similar. This research shows that many strategies that were effective for parents in the past are still noteworthy when helping children make optimal use of the virtual space.

Similarity Between Helping Children Use the Virtual Space Optimally and Everyday Life

Gasser: Let me put it this way: my sense is that the issue of parenting at its core is still similar to what we experienced in the decades before the widespread use of the internet. In fact, the changes that technology has brought about in these years are, in many ways, just a simple shift in the main game. Parents who stay connected with their child’s issues always learn new things. As a result, they can keep up with new technological advancements and understand how their children use these tools. In this situation, they are surely familiar with the potential risks and benefits as well.

Of course, the extremely rapid pace of change creates a challenge for parents because they must make important decisions without years of experience, advice from grandparents, or evidence from researchers. I have experienced this challenge myself. As a parent, I feel I must constantly learn, readjust my knowledge and skills, and understand how I can empower my children. I need to know what field we are stepping into to protect them and what tools we use to conduct these conversations.

The Importance of Becoming Digitally Connected Parents

Gazette Reporter: Can you talk about the importance of becoming digitally connected parents in this era?

Palfrey: If parents distance themselves from new technologies and do not align with young people, they leave their children in a difficult position. Having intimate and comfortable conversations to help young people in a world where they are connected to the virtual space for several hours using various systems is, in the truest sense, essential.

What we tell parents when helping children make optimal use of the virtual space is that they must learn to swim in this turbulent sea. No one receives a manual for becoming a good parent at the birth of their child. We only learn a version of what our parents did. But since we have faced a generational shift, the old methods are somewhat ineffective. What you don’t want to do is leave the kids to fend for themselves. We hope that this book can serve as the “missing guide” for parents.

The Most Common Misconceptions About the Impact of New Media and Technologies

Gazette Reporter: Most parents fear and worry about the impact of technology on their children’s lives. In this situation, what are the most common misconceptions about the impact of new media and technologies?

Gasser: Adults often underestimate the impact of digital technologies on young people’s lives. As a parent in today’s world, we still think that “online” and “offline” are two separate worlds, but for young people, this distinction does not exist. Digital technologies are fully integrated into young people’s lives and shape their lives in profound ways.

Adults sometimes think that young people, because they are young or have always been connected to technology, are aware of all its aspects. But our research shows that this is not the case. Technology use creates deep gaps between individuals. In fact, not all children have equal access to the digital space, nor do they all have the necessary skills to benefit from it. We must take helping children make optimal use of the virtual space seriously and address the significant differences in their abilities.

Legal issues are also very important, and we must establish policies that give every young person access to technology and the ability to use it constructively.
Palfrey: We wrote this book and previous books like “Born Digital” because we wanted to correct adults’ misconceptions about young people. We think we must push aside the mistaken views that overshadow the positive aspects of young people’s experiences with new media. Adults should not forget that young people see no difference between offline and online life. This is their entire normal life.

Examining a Few Examples of the Positive Aspects of Technology

Technologies have provided many opportunities for young people’s civic engagement in the United States and the world. These opportunities show how young people use technology and new media to achieve their goals. They also demonstrate that young people feel empowered and influential regarding new technologies. They can form new organizations and spread their message across geographical borders. A clear example is the Black Lives Matter protests, part of which grew through technology networks. Environmental activities have also seen significant expansion in the United States and the world, partly due to the internet. In this challenge, some people are just “clickers,” meaning they only click “like” on Facebook. This shows that the ways young people use technology and interact with the world are flawed. These examples can help us better understand the challenge of helping children make optimal use of the online space.

The Internet Makes People Stupid!

Gazette Reporter: Some people believe that the internet makes people stupid. Is this true?

Palfrey: There is no result in the conducted research that shows this generation is stupid. It should be noted that a book titled “The Dumbest Generation” was written, which became a bestseller, but I don’t think it has reliable data. Of course, there are questions about the long-term effects of excessive technology use on young people’s learning, but I don’t think the problem lies with the technology itself. The issue is how we use it and, of course, how we choose to use it. I believe this generation will be the most literate generation in history, not the stupidest, and we will better understand this in the future.

Helping Children Use the Online Space Optimally with Attention to Time Impact

Gazette Reporter: In this book, you wrote that teenagers are online an average of 9 hours a day. What does this research say about the impact of excessive use of the virtual space on young people? What advice do you have for parents?
Gasser: The important point is how much of young people’s time is spent in the virtual space. Studies show that reasonable use of technology can actually have a positive impact on young people’s social and emotional well-being. As a result, problems arise with excessive use.
One of the main concerns is the impact on young people’s sleep, as those who overuse technology often do not sleep enough. The question is, how much is the appropriate time for using phones, computers, and other devices? Of course, it should be noted that this range also depends on the age of your children. As a result, helping children make optimal use of the online space becomes easier.

Our book provides some practical guidance based on research conducted in this field. However, the greatest insight from the research is that not only is the amount of time young people spend online important, but the type of activities they engage in online is also significant. For example, if a child uses a mobile phone, are they just playing games? If so, what types of games do they choose? Some children used the virtual space to interact with friends or do homework and learn online during the coronavirus period. All these activities can have different impacts on young people’s well-being and growth. Therefore, it is better for future research to focus on the quality of young people’s online activities rather than answering these questions.

Helping Children Use the Virtual Space Optimally with Attention to the Quality of Technology Use

Palfrey: The important issue regarding the time spent using technologies is quality, not quantity. This issue became even more significant during the coronavirus pandemic. Since students no longer go to school and are almost only connected to the outside world through their devices, adults were previously worried that kids spent too much time online, but now they have no choice. This aligns with research showing that quality is more important than quantity.

The Impact of Social Media on Increasing Depression and Anxiety

Gazette Reporter: What impact do social media and screen time have on young people’s depression and anxiety?

Palfrey: Our research shows that stress, anxiety, depression, and suicide are on the rise in the minds of many young people. We also know that kids use technology more than before. But when helping children make optimal use of the online space, we cannot be certain whether these two have a causal relationship. As a researcher, we must say what we know and what we don’t know. One interpretation to explain this is that technology may exacerbate young people’s mental conditions.

For example, there is a mental disorder called an eating disorder, which may be accompanied by anxiety, obsession, and so on. A young person may develop this disorder due to genetic and environmental reasons. When they see attractive photos of fit individuals on Instagram, they may perceive it as a sign of their own deficiency and feel dissatisfied with themselves. In such cases, technology can exacerbate mental conditions, but it is not the sole cause of the situation. The challenge we face is to provide appropriate responses to children when helping them use the virtual space.

A Positive Point for Helping Children Use the Virtual Space Optimally

Gasser: Research also shows that young people with moderate anxiety can use social media as a way to cope with their challenges. In fact, some positive effects have been observed, and researchers acknowledge that social media can not only be part of a complex problem but also propose part of the solution.

Solutions for Keeping Children Safe in the Online Space

Gazette Reporter: What can parents do to keep their children safe in the online space?

Gasser: The most important point in the discussion of helping children make optimal use of the online space is that parents must protect their children’s privacy. We see that some parents share photos of their child on Facebook. This pattern causes children, when they grow up, to share beautiful photos of themselves with their friends on social media, which is understandable. However, this may create concerns for protecting their privacy in the future.

Keep in mind that you must have serious conversations with your children about sharing sensitive data in the online space. Kids need to know what consequences (positive and negative) they might experience if they share a selfie or a photo of themselves or their friends on social media. They should also be told that in some countries, their online profile may be reviewed by a school admissions office. This may be the hardest part for parents, but we must accept that our data and online footprint may have impacts on our lives in the future.

This relates to the surveillance capitalism I mentioned earlier. Parents and young people are limited in what they can do to protect their privacy. Here, we see the role of lawmakers and governments, which must step in and, especially in the United States, provide stronger privacy and data protection laws for young people and adults. Europeans are leading in this area, and we urgently need to implement fundamental changes.
Helping children make optimal use of the virtual space by examining how they interact.
Palfrey: We thought that young people’s mental harm during the internet era had increased significantly. But further research showed that the data completely contradicted this. When it comes to helping children make optimal use of the online space, we also reach the point that children, over the past few decades with the growth of these technologies, have been less physically or sexually harmed by strangers outside the home.

Of course, this does not mean that young people cannot have problems in the online space. For example, in gaming chat rooms or aggressive online communities interested in sexual relationships, there are many problems. These are spaces that enable communication with unhealthy individuals. It is important for parents to have practical guidance on how their children interact with others in the virtual space.

Gazette Reporter: What do you think is the main point of your book?

Gasser: If I were to say it in one sentence, I would say: “Young people and digital technology are superior to what is attributed to them.”

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